Horse jokes

Did you hear about the depressed horse?
He
told a tale of whoa!

 

How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate? By reading street signs.

Read more!

Why did the mummy stop using the Internet? He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Andrew ! Andrew who ? Andrew all her money out of the bank !

Read more!

What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak ? Mouse code !

Read more!

Why do pigs like February 14th? They get lots of Valenswines.

Read more!

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final ? Webley stadium !

Read more!

your mama so fat she was going to walmart tripped over kmart and landed right on target!!!

Read more!

What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill? It bucked!

Read more!

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? "I love you a ton!"

Read more!

What is a mosquito's favourite sport ? Skin-diving !

Read more!

Teacher: Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive? Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet Pupil: See? It works, doesn't it?

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Arson ! Arson who ! Arson McCullers !

Read more!

Lawyer: "Let me give you my honest opinion." Client: "No, no. I'm paying for professional advice."

Read more!

The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. "It is wonderful," the husband exclaimed. "We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?" "Yes, you male chauvinist pig," his wife replied. "Tonight, you cook dinner!"

Read more!

God created the donkey & said to him : " You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years. You will be a donkey. " The donkey answered: " I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is too much. Give me only 20 years. God granted his wish. God created the dog and said to him: "You will be a dog. " You will guard the house of man. You will be his best friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 25 years. You will be a dog. " The dog answered: " Sir, to live 25 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. God created the Monkey and said to him: " You will be a monkey. " You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. You will be a monkey. " The monkey answered: " Sir, to live 20 years is too much , you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. Finally God created the man and said to him: " You will be a man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. " You will use your intelligence to become master over all animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years. Man responded: " Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused. God granted his wish. And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, he marries and spend 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back. Then when his children are gone, he lives 15 years like a dog, taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house, from one son or daughter to another, doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

Read more!

How does a baritone make phone calls? Song distance!

Read more!

What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater ? 'Claws.'

Read more!

Little Jordan wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents, Al and Elaine, for days. Finally Elaine talked Jordan's reluctant father into taking him. And so Jordan and Al got into the car and left. "So how was it?" Elaine asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Jordan replied. "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked Elaine. "Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Jordan, excitedly, "especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!"

Read more!

Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate, one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank! And how long have you had this complaint? What complaint?

Read more!

SIX PHASES OF THE MONTH IN NAVY RECRUITING 1. ENTHUSIASM 2. DISILUSIONMENT 3. PANIC 4. SEARCH FOR THE GUILTY 5. PUNISHMENT OF THE INNOCENT 6. PRAISE AND HONORS FOR THE NON-PARTICIPANTS

Read more!