Fishing jokes

Mother
to daughter advice: Cook a man a
fish and you feed him for a day. But
teach a man to fish and you get
rid of him for the whole weekend.

 

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ? Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !

Read more!

Q: How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Change it to what?

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Aladdin ! Aladdin who ? Aladdin the street wants a word with you !

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Arnie ! Arnie who ! Arnie having fun ?

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Butcher ! Butcher who ? Butcher your arms around me !

Read more!

A persistent job-seeker once appeared before President Lincoln and demanded an appointment to a judgeship. He was informed that there were no vacancies. The next day, while walking along the river, he saw a drowned man being pulled out, and recognized him as a federal judge. He ran back to the White House and demanded the position. "Sorry," said the President, "but the lawyer who saw that judge fall in beat you here by a good five minutes."

Read more!

How do hens encourage their football teams? They egg them on!

Read more!

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. "Now what should I do?" His mother has an idea. "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. " I was humiliated," he groaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes." " What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. " We hadn't started eating yet."

Read more!

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Read more!

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? Jack the kipper !

Read more!

What ghost is handy in the kitchen? A recipe spook.

Read more!

What is the Ape monster's name? Godzilla Gorilla!

Read more!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Bach ! Bach who ? Bach to work!

Read more!

The food in our school canteen is perfect. If your a bug!

Read more!

Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs!

Read more!

I was in the zoo last week. Really? Which cage were you in?

Read more!

What's the difference between an angler and a dunce? One baits his hooks while the other hates his books.

Read more!

What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party ? No one moved. They couldn't stir without her.

Read more!

Commissioned by a zoo to bring them some baboons, the big game hunter devised a novel scheme to trap them - his only requirements being a sack, a gun, and a particularly vicious and bad tempered dog. Once in the jungle he explained to his assistant, "I'll climb this tree and shake the branches; if there are any baboons up there, they will fall to the ground - and the dogs will bite their tail and immobilise them so that you can pick them up quite safely and put them in the sack." "But what do I need the gun for?" asked the assisant. "If I should fall out of the tree by mistake, shoot the dog."

Read more!

Dick and Bob were on a hunting trip. At nightfall, Dick complained, 'We've been hunting all day. We've shot at five deer - and not hit one!' 'OK. Let's miss two more and then head back to camp,' said Bob.

Read more!