Book title jokes

The Escaping
Herd by Gay Topen

 

What car do insects drive? A Volkswagen automobile.

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Which dog can tell time? A watchdog.

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Have you seen www.hook.com? Yes, it's already caught my eye.

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Have you seen www.lockeddoor.com? Yes, but I found it very difficult to get into.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Alberta ! Alberta who ! Alberta'll be over in a minute !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Andy ! Andy who ? Andy little gadgets to have, door knockers !

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Igor: Only this morning Dr Frankenstein completed another amazing operation. He crossed an ostrich with a centipede. Dracula: And what did he get? Igor: We don't know - we haven't managed to catch it yet.

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What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster? Sir.

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What did the mama pig say to her bad little piglet? "Behave or Frankenswine will get you."

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A monster goes to a petrol station and says: Fill me up The man at the petrol station replies: You have to have a car for me to do that!. The monster replies: But I had a car for lunch!

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What's furry, has whiskers and chases outlaws ? A posse cat !

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What is posthumous work ? Something written by someone after they are dead !

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Q: Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? A: Because she had no guts!

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Question: What's the difference between sin and shame? Answer: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

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What is the easy way to get a wild elephant ? Get a tame one and annoy it !

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Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.

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My mother-in-law has got so many double chins it looks like she is peering over a pile of pancakes.

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Knock Knock Who's there ? Chaz ! Chaz who ? Chaz nasty as you wanna be !

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O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bother him and he went to confession to repent. "Father, it's 15 years since my last confession, and I've been stealing wood from the lumber yard all those years," he told the priest. "I understand my son," says the priest. "Can you make a Novena?" O'Toole said, "Father, if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."

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Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Jackie: Nine. Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight. Jackie: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!

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