Brother and sister jokes

So you are distantly related to the

family next door, are you?
Yes- their dog is our dog's
brother.

 

I've been on my computer all night! Don't you think you'd be more comfortable on a bed like everyone else?

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Why did the bank robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? I don't know. Neither did she!

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How did the woman feel when she got run over by a car? Tired.

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Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows!

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Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: With pain $200 and without pain $100. Patient: Well, without pain it's cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain. Without anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the tooth, when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh !!!!! Hey, WITH pain it costs $200 !!!, replies the dentist.

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Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.

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How did the Chihuahua disappear on the road? It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! C's ! C's who ? C's the day !

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Men are like chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.

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What happened to Frankenstein's stupid son? He had so much wax in his ears that he became a permanent contributor to Madame Tussaud's.

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Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It's called a garbage compactor.

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Q: How many republicans does it take to disarm the law abiding public so that the government can enforce totalitarianistic and unconstitutional laws? A: None. The Sociali--Democrats do that

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What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cataracts

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Q) How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in fair weather? A) He's got bugs on his teeth.

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Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a telephone. Doctor: Why's that? I keep getting calls in the night.

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What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !

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How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold ? He has cat-arrh !

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A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands directly next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his haircut, eating her snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "I know. I'm gonna get boobs too."

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A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?" She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

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