Khmer Magazines 2017



A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."

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Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ? A frog in a blender !

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What happened when the schoool bully went netsurfing? The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.

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A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty. The skeleton crew didn't notice a chimpanzee, escaped from a nearby civilian transport, crawled up the ropes and up to the smokestack. Down the stack, it made its way into the engine room. It came across a power panel opened up for maintenance, couldn't read the warning signs, and with a bright blue blast shorted out the ship's electrical system, and plunged the ship into darkness. A little bit later, two junior Hull Technicians wander down with their flashlights, looking for the problem. They come upon the blackened body of the chimp. They shine their flashlights on its long, burnt arms. They look at each other. They highlight its short legs and odd feet. They look at each other. Finally one says, "Well, it's too hairy to be an Electrician, the legs are too short for a Hull Tech, and there would be more tatoos on a Bo'su n. Call the wardroom, see if one of the duty officers is missing."

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When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failed experiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was a demagogue. When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evil empire, I knew he was a dangerous kook. When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War by escalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored nuclear annihilation. When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiated its past, I knew it was all Gorbachev's genius, and that fool Reagan had nothing to do with it. Because if that fool Reagan was right all along... ...what kind of fool am I?

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Where do snowmen put their webpages? On the winternet.

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Police Officer: Why did you lead me on a five-state chase? Driver: I love to travel.

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If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning? The conductor.

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At a family gathering, husband began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. "Honey," she said to her husband, "when I get my way, that's a compromise." "What is it when I get my way?" he was quick to ask. She replied, "That's a miracle!"

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There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Tonya Harding Barbie ...you didn't think we'd sell one without the other, did you?

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Q: Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side? A: She didn't know where to buy Left Guard!

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On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and said, 'I am going to give you your very first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof.' Reluctantly, the boy went to stand on the edge of the roof. 'Now,' said his father, 'when I say, "Jump," I want you to jump off the roof.' 'But, Dad,' said the boy, 'there's a huge drop!' 'Do you want to succeed in business?' 'Yes, Dad.' 'And you trust me, don't you?' 'Yes, Dad.' 'So do as I say and jump.' The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His father went racing down the stairs and ran up to him. That was your first lesson in business, son. Never trust anyone.'

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Q: What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross? - A: A first-aid kit!

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What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape? A retarded ape.

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What dogs are best for sending telegrams ? Wire haired terriers !!

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What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie? "Well, doggone !"

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What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night ? Russell !

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A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them." "That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."

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What is small, furry and smells like bacon? A hamster.

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You're a big Internet fan aren't you? Yes - it's becoming a habit!

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Q. How do men exercise on the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

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QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Until he gets caught.

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What's a rabbits' favorite TV show? Hoppy Days.

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Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!

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Aches and Pains by Arthur Ritis

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