Khmer Magazines 2017



After the first takeoff of the fully automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing, reassuring voice of the pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your automatic pilot. In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, ..."

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What kind of bird opens doors ? A kiwi !

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What is a drill team? A group of dentists who work together.

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Whats the definition of love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

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What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog ? Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

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How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert ? You get very lumpy ice cream !

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming ? Here come the elephants

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Did you hear about the stupid woodworm? He was found in a brick.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Athena ! Athena who ? Athena reindeer landing on your roof !

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Why did the monster stop playing with his brother? He got tired of kicking him around.

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What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough? He ate it quickly, before the others could ask him to share.

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Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things -- burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery. He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, "I hope you'll be very happy there."

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Q:What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A:('A jump rope')"

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Waiter, I can't seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup. Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?

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Many people in computer labs will assure you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they were doing everything correctly, and it still wasn't working, only to make you get up from your nice comfy seat to walk over to the other side of the room and do it yourself. Invariably, after it works the first time for you, the response is, "THAT'S WHAT I TYPED THE FIRST TIME!" Obviously not.

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Two friends who lived in the town were chatting. "I've just bought a pig," said the first. "But where will you keep it?" said the second. "Your yard's much too small for a pig!" "I'm going to keep it under my bed," replied his friend. "But what about the smell?" "He'll soon get used to that."

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A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."

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How can you help a starving cannibal? Give them a hand !

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What is the cat's favourite TV show ? The evening mews !

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Miss DeAngelo was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn't find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the 'other woman' in her husband's life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn't help it." "Couldn't help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How's that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."

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How do you catch the Easter Bunny? Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!

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What do elephants say as a compliment ? You look elephantastic !

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Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin? No more, mom. It's empty.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bingo ! Bingo who ? Bingo'ng to come and see you for ages !

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What do you call an honest lawyer? An oxymoron.

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