Khmer Magazines 2017



One day a blonde woman was down on her luck and she needed a quick way to get money. She saw some kids playing and thought "Hey! Maybe I can kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom!" So she creeps up and snatches one. So she began to write a note: "I have kidnaped your son and I will give him back if you put 10,000$ on the north side of the tree in the park. Signed Blonde." She sticks the note on the kid and sends him home. The next day she goes to the north side of the tree and in a paper bag was 10, 000$. But there was a note inside saying: "How could you do this to a fellow blonde!?!"

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What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window? "Looks like rein dear"

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Who is in cowboy films and is always broke? Skint Eastwood.

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Q. What does CHAOS stand for? A.The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.

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What is horse sense? Stable thinking and the ability to say nay!

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What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !

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Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? A: He sold his soul to Santa.

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What do snowmen wear on their heads ? Ice caps !

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A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient. "Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where the voices are coming from?" asked the psychiatrist. "As a matter of fact, I do," said the patient. "And when does this happen?" asked the psychiatrist. "Oh," said the patient, "when I answer the telephone."

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Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down.

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What was the policeman's baby's first words ? Hallo, Hallo, Hallo !

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"The auditors have just left, sir." "Did they check the books?" "Very thoroughly." "What did they say?" "They want 15% to keep quiet."

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Last New Year's Eve, one woman stood up at the local tavern and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. It was embarrassing - The bartender was almost crushed to death.

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What geometric figure is like a runaway parrot? A polygon .

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Did you hear about the chicken that wanted to take ballet lessons? "He wanted to be a hentertainer."

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1st Cannibal: I don't know what to make of my boyfriend these days. 2nd Cannibal: How about a hotpot ?

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Q: What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy? A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family--you're happy.

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Phoning the florist to order some flowers for her lover's funeral, woman was caught off guard when asked what message she wanted on the card. "Message?" she sputtered. "Well, I guess, 'You will be missed."' Visiting the funeral home, she was pleased that her floral tribute had arrived but mortified that the card had her exact words: "I guess you will be missed."

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Men are like cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

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I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!

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Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen. How do you do that? Says the other. It's easy! I turn off the light!

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A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live. Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order. "Oh yes, I've done that," said the old gentleman. "I've only got to make a will. And do you know what I'm going to do with all my money? I'm going to leave it to the doctor who saves my life."

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Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Jackie: Nine. Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight. Jackie: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!

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A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" she sighed. "No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!"

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Read more Apple jokes

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