Khmer Magazines 2018



A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, "What's happened to your car?" "Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer". "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?" "Well, I had to chase him all through the park."

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A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his best friend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, "My God Pete !!! I more-or-less 'have to', but YOU ???"

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Recruits were shocked at the language the sergeant used in their unit. During a smoke break one young soldier asked: "Sergeant, where did you le-arn your language?" "Learnit, hell, it's a gift," proudly informed the NCO.

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How can you tell an old person from a young person? An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time.

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What's a snakes favourite dance ? Snake, rattle & roll !

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What do you call a python with a great bedside manner? A snake charmer.

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Which burger is famous for a long nose? Cyrano de Burgerac!

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Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels.

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Why are condoms like cameras? -they both capture the moment.

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A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground. A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says. "Where can I buy one?" he is asked. Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says. "I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money. I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday morrow OK? "Sure." The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news." I went out after breakfeast and the mule was dead. The city feller says just give me my money back then. "Can't, spent it already!" "Well... unload the mule then." "What ya gonna do with him?" "Raffle him off!" "Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!" "Just watch me us! City fellers know a few tri cks." One month goes by and the city feller and farmer run into each other at the barber shop. "What did ya do with that dead mule?" "Raffled him off, sold 100 tickets at two dollars each and made 98 dollars profit." "Didn't anyone complain?" "Just one guy so I gave him his two dollars back!"

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Why did the Gorilla enlist in the ragged continental army? To avoid the draft!

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What do fishermen say on Halloween? "Trick-or-trout!"

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What's a glow worms favourite song ? Wake me up before you glow glow !

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Question: If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

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Q: What happens if you sing country music backwards? A: You get your job and your wife back.

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Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

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The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. "Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?" "Go down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in."

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Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Jackie: Nine. Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight. Jackie: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!

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Waiter, your tie is in my soup! That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.

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Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

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Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

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Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport. After verifying his seat number with the counter attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and stated that he'd have to wait an additional three hours in the airport. "How come?," his nephew asked. "My plane has been grounded," Brendan explained. "Grounded?" the little boy said. "I didn't know planes had parents."

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A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Why don't chickens like people ? They beat eggs !

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One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, daddy." He replied, "How'd you know?" The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'ASSHOLE!' afterwards!"

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