Khmer Magazines 2017



A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"

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Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long time!

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What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on? Cot-on-wool.

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How can you tell if a parrot is intelligent? It speaks in Polly-syllables!

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How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet? They were both dating the same girl in high school.

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What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!

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Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding? A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

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Q. How do you get down from an aerial ladder? A. You don't get down from an aerial ladder. You get down from a duck.

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What sort of soup do skeletons like? One with plenty of body in it.

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A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?"

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Doctor, doctor, I feel like I'm part of the Internet! Well, you do look a site

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What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters? With love and hisses.

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Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

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Where do footballers dance? At a football!

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What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic? Wait for him to give it back.

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Waiter, waiter, do you have frog's legs? Certainly, Sir! Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!

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Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.

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Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, "T-square, do your stuff!". T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff!". Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff!". Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured ex actly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. The three men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your dog do?". The Government Worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff!". Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation and went home on sick leave.

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What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all. A going-away party.

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Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a butterfly Will you say what you mean and stop flitting about!

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What dog would you want on your American football team? A golden receiver!

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What is small, furry and smells like bacon? A hamster.

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Why can't the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training.

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Amour ! Amour who? Amour you eat, the more you want !

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"Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?" "Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport." The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?" "No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. "Oi'm always first out of bed." Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. "What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have." "Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone grounds." "Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, "you need a reason that the court can consider. "What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?" "Ah, well now," said the lady, "Shure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation."

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