Khmer Magazines 2018



Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears? I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!

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Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean. That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!

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Why did the man throw away all the new pennies he had? Because they were a nuisance (new cents).

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What bit of fish doesn't make sense ? The piece of cod that passeth all understanding !

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What do romantic fish sing to each other? Salmon-chanted evening !

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What do you call a Welshman who writes lots of letters ? Pen Gwyn !

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What did the Gorilla call his first wife? His prime-mate!

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Knock Knock Who's there ? Clown ! Clown who ? Clown for the count !

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Q.Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory? A. She kept throwing out all the W's.

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Yo mama has so many chins, it looks like she's wearing a fat necklace !!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bacon ! Bacon who ? Bacon a cake for your birthday !

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Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier? A: To promote off-shore drilling.

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What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message? To e or not to e, that is the question.

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A little demon came home from school one day and said to his mother, 'I hate my sister's guts.' 'All right,' said his mother, 'I won't put them in your sandwiches again.'

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They're not going to grow bananas any longer. Really? Why not? Because they're long enough already.

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Q. A fireman had two sons. What did he name them? A. Hosea and Hoseb

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Warning to shoplifters: Anyone caught shoplifting will be beaten, gagged, whipped and tortured. Any survivors will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

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Where is everyone beautiful? In the dark.

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Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

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Where would you take a ghost for lunch? Pizza Haunt!

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If a man says something in the middle of a forest, and there is no women around to hear him, is he still wrong?

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Can a hamburger marry a hot dog? Only if they have a very frank relationship!

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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Technical Support," says the balloonist. "I do," replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but completely useless." The man below says: "You must be in management." "I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're still in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

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One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?" Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?" Tom: "The smaller piece, of course." Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"

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A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

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