Khmer Magazines 2018



Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw? A: A chain saw has a dynamic range.

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Why do pigs like February 14th? They get lots of Valenswines.

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The brain is a wonder ful thing Why do you say that ? Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class !

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Where did vampires go to first in America? New-fang-land.

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A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that should be able to accommodate our landing. This island appears to be uncharted; I am unable to find it on our maps. So the odds are that we will never be rescued and will have to live on the island for a very long time, if not for the rest of our lives. A few minutes later the plane lands safely on the island, whereupon Morris turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our pledge to the Yeshiva yet?" No Morris!" she responded. Morris smiles, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our UJA pledge?" "Oy no, I forgot to send the check!!" Now Morris laughs. "One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send our Temple Building Fund check this month?" "Oy Morris I forgot that one too!" Now Morris is practically choking with laughter. Esther asks Morris, "So what are you smiling and laughing about? Morris responds, "They'll find us."

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Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really? Which one? Fred: A Saint Bernard.

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The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning. "Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!" "The cups man! Save the cups!" cries George. "Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."

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What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics ? All sorts of antics !

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Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire. Necks please!

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There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life. 'I'm fine, ' Angus said. 'But there are some really strange people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time.' 'Well, ma laddie,' says his mother, 'I suggest you don't associate with people like that.' 'Oh,' says Angus, 'I don't, Mam, I don't. No, I just stay inside my apartment all day and night, playing my bagpipes.'

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Why were the trick-or-treaters wearing grass skirts? Because it was Hulaween!

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Army Ant ! Army Ant who ? Army Ants coming for tea then ?

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What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak ? Mouse code !

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Are you getting older and wiser? No, he's getting older and wider!

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Why did the piglets get in trouble in their biology class? They ate all the specimens.

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The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, "I give ten dollars." Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. "I give a thousand dollars!" The minister said, "Lord, hit him again!"

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Who was the best actor in the bible ? Samson, he brought the house down !

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What is the first thing that vampires learn at school? The alphabat.

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Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

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There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Crash Test Barbie ...comes with car and brick wall

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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

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Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays? They can wear casual clothes to work

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What do parrots eat ? Polyfilla !

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Q. How do blonde brain cells die? A. Alone

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