Khmer Magazines 2017



Knock Knock Who's there ! Cecil ! Cecil who ? Cecil have music whereever she goes.... !

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Paul says to Jesus, "Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?" Jesus says, "Just hanging around."

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Teacher: I'll call you Fred Smith then. Pupil: My dad won't like that. Teacher: Why is that? Pupil: He doesn't like people taking the Mickey out of my name!

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What is a goal keepers favourite snack? Beans on post!

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A group of Texas A&M Aggies and a group of Harvard students had been deadlocked in a spelling bee for an entire week. At the end of the contest the score was tied and the judges had a dilemma. They told the contestants that each group was to quickly come up with a poem using the word 'Timbuktu.' Well the Aggiess started laughing the minute the word was uttered but Harvard just smiled and prepared their short rhyme. One Harvard student stood up and for his group recited 'Through the desert all night we ride on camels walking two by two, Destination Timbuktu.' Well the crowd politely applauded - they knew the Aggies couldnt beat that and the Aggies just continued laughing throughout the whole process. One Aggie stopped giggling long enough to stand and read the team's effort. He said, 'Tim and I, a hunting went, we came upon three women in a tent. Since they were three and we were two, I buk one and Timbuktu!'

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Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play!

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Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed? She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.

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My dog is great at math. Really ? Ask him how much is two minus two. But two minus two is nothing! That's what he'll answer, nothing!

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What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland ? The Loch Ness Elephant !

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Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat*... he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife came to the door, said he, "Pardon memadame, but I just ran over a cat in front of your house, and assumed that it must belong to you. I know this might be hard to hear, but Iwanted to let you know instead of just driving off...." "Not so fast", says she. "How do you know it was our cat? Could youdescribe him? What does he look like?" The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said "He looks like thts"as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression. "Oh no, you *horrible* man", she replied. "I meant, what did he look like*before* you hit him?" At that, the man got up , covered his eyes with both hands and screamed"Agggghhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!"

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Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.

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What goes zzub, zzub ? A bee flying backwards !

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How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm ? it has a blue light !

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What are spiders webs good for ? Spiders !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Belinda ! Belinda who ? Belinda church steeple !

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How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb? Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

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What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

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What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another ? A parson to parson call !

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How do rain drops marry? -They coalesce

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Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone box? Stuck.

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A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

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Why does a rooster watch TV ? For hentertainment !

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Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It's a great present but I just can't find the words to thank you enough.

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Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought.

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