Khmer Magazines 2018



Did you hear about the two men who were cremated at the same time? It was a dead heat.

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Vampire 1: "I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died." Vampire 2: "How awful!" Vampire 1: "Yes. Fortunately, I found some in the neck of time."

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How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!

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What kind of wig can hear ? An earwig !

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Knock Knock Who's there ! Albert ! Albert who ! Albert you don't know who this is !

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A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?" "Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."

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The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?" "Yes," the boy's mother answered. "And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked. "Who cares?" the mother replied.

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Q: What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

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What lights up a football stadium? A football match!

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What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy ? Something you wouldn't want to unwrap !

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How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes.

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Yo mama is so fat that when she went bunggie jumping in a yellow dress, everyone was screaming the suns falling!

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What does an aardvark get when he overeats? Ant-digestion!

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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

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Never Give Up! by Percy Vere

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Mandy was applying for a summer job. 'How old are you?' asked the owner of the store. 'I'm twelve years old, Sir,' answered Mandy. 'And what do you expect to be when you grow up ?' 'Twenty one, Sir.'

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Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married? The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!

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What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an elephant? A tusky!

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Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*.

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What looks just like half a loaf of bread? Its other half.

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Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.

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"Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?" she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes. "I don't know, but I promise I'll never do it again."

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There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was a woman. They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die. No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men. All of the men started clapping.

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Grandpa: You youngsters are soft and lazy today. When I was your age I got up at six o'clock every morning and walked five or six miles before breakfast. I used to think nothing of it. Fred: I don't blame you, Grandpa. I wouldn't think,much of it myself.

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What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail? The world's slowest vampire.

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